Second Date Part Four

Jesus laughed when I mentioned the bible, "Oh come on Mary. You don't believe any of that nonsense do you?"
Gianno poured us some more champagne. Best waiter I've ever seen. He was right there with a refill when you took the last sip.
I said, "To be honest. I never really thought it was all literal. I kind of figured it was, you know, clever allegory."
Jesus drained his champagne glass, and if you've been counting it was his third in under an hour. Gianno refilled it. Jesus sipped, sniffed, sipped, and said, "I suppose it's clever enough. It takes alot of time and energy to make a god. It's like diamonds or oil. Difficult environmental conditions, extreme social pressure, awkward unachievable standards, a codex of rules and regulations that so very few can actually follow, self-castigation and self-torture, if enough people die for you, you can be a god."
"So, Jesus, are you saying that stuff about you in the bible isn't true?"
"True, not true..." Jesus sipped his champagne, "I wouldn't know. I wasn't actually 'born' until well after any actual person called Jesus Christ was long dead. The first thing I remember was waking up in Rome, in a pile of rotten vegetables beside the Pantheon in AD 213. I guess it took awhile for me to get strong enough to 'wake up', or...I don't know, animate? No that sounds like a Zombie. I assure you," Jesus giggled and held out his glass for the waiter to refill, "I am not a Zombie."
Jesus took a healthy swig of the champagne and said, "Gratzi," to the waiter.
I was stuffed to the gills.
A blue Ford pulled up in front of the park. The driver looked at our pavilion with complete confusion. He parked and stared at us.
Jesus saw this and said, "I think we'd better go Mary. I don't want to cause a scene or anything."
I nodded. There was so much I didn't understand.
Jesus waved his hands in the air like a raver trying to ward off the ill effects of bad ecstasy. The pavillion dissapeared, and the food and the chairs and the waiter. Everything but the champagne flutes in our hands. The weird thing is, one second I was sitting in a chair. The next I was standing in the park. That made me dizzy.
Jesus asked, "What would you like to do now Mary? Bowling, pool, Parcheesi, wild Nazi Stormtrooper sex?"
I blushed. He took my arm and led me away from the park, along the road by the boathouse, back toward the city.